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Confessions of a Mild-Mannered
Enemy of the State
Part 3 (1977-1997)
Japan and Hong Kong
The SI Anthology
Rock climbing
Rexroth again
Zen practice
Reading, writing, translating and music
How this book came to be
Japan and Hong Kong
I was in Japan for two months, based in Fujinomiya, a quiet country town at the foot of
Mt. Fuji where Tommy Haruki and his family lived, enough off the beaten track that some of
the neighborhood children had never seen a foreigner.
After a week or two I returned to Tokyo to meet some young anarchists who were
translating my Society of Situationism. It was interesting to try to come up
with Japanese equivalents for what I had written; but due to the absence of situationist
activity in Japan they naturally had no conception of many of the nuances of
ideologization that my text is largely concerned with, so I doubt if the translation ever
met with much understanding.
I met a number of other anarchists in Tokyo, but for the most part I did not find the
scene of much interest. Just to see if I could stir things up a bit, I wrote a sharply
critical open letter to one of the groups [Open Letter to the
Tokyo Libertaire Group], which Haruki translated and circulated to
anarchist addresses throughout Japan. The group reprinted it along with a couple responses
on the If you cant say anything nice, dont say anything theme.
In November I made a three-week trip to Hong Kong to meet the 70s, an
anarchist group that was disseminating information on dissident tendencies in China at a
time when such information was very hard to come by and many people still had illusions
about Mao and the Cultural Revolution. I later put out a critical appreciation
of the group and its publications [A Radical Group in Hong Kong].
To my surprise and disappointment, this text did not receive any public response from the
70s, though it apparently stirred up some internal debate. Although some overseas
comrades have criticised your A Radical Group in Hong Kong as supercilious
there are a number of us here (people including myself who have not met you) who do
very much agree with you in your criticisms of the 70s to the finest
details, wrote one correspondent, who unfortunately ended up rallying to the stale
dogmatism of the International Communist Current, which hardly represents any improvement.
The 70s group itself dissolved in the early 1980s.
Back in Japan, I visited some other anarchists in Kyoto and Osaka; helped Haruki
reprint a Japanese translation of On the Poverty of Student Life that we had
discovered; savored a few final dictionary-aided conversations, accompanied with cups of
hot saké (particularly pleasant as the December cold began to penetrate the uninsulated
houses); and returned to Berkeley.
I had mixed feelings about Japan. I disliked the conformism, the work ethic, and the
persistence of traditional hierarchies and gender divisions. (There are even different
grammatical forms depending on whether youre a man or a woman, or are speaking to a
superior or an inferior I found it hard to take that sort of thing seriously.) But
I liked some aspects of the culture very much the traditional architecture and
decor; the polite, modest comportment; the delicious cuisine; the almost fanatical
neatness. (The practice of taking off your shoes before entering someones home
seemed so sensible and comfortable that Ive adopted it ever since in my own home.)
And the language, though difficult, is fascinating to work with. Back in Berkeley I
continued to study it, with the idea that I might go back and live there for a while. But
I never ended up doing so, primarily because I didnt hear of any interesting new
radical developments there or any new contacts I wanted to meet. After a year I
discontinued the study, and have since forgotten almost everything I knew. But it was fun
while it lasted.
Apart from Japanese study, most of 1978 was taken up with proofreading work. For the
last two decades Ive gotten by on various freelance proofreading and editing jobs
not very exciting, but it allows me flexible hours and a lot of free time. Having
fairly simple tastes and no family to support, Ive been able to live my entire adult
life in modest comfort on an income below the official poverty level. Of my only two
apparent extravagances, my publications have almost paid for themselves (if you dont
count my labor on them, which has mostly been fun) and even my occasional
foreign trips have been relatively cheap because I generally only go to places where there
are friends or contacts I can stay with.
That fall I started closely following the revolt in Iran, reading daily press accounts
as well as exploring a lot of background history. In March 1979 I issued a poster, The Opening in Iran, several hundred copies of which were distributed
to radical Iranian student groups in America. It was my hope that a few copies, or at
least some of the ideas, might find their way to Iran, but I dont know if this ever
happened. Some of the individual Iranians I met were vaguely sympathetic, but most were
too caught up in the momentum of events and too attached to Islam or to one or another
variety of Leninism to comprehend any truly radical perspective. A few even threatened to
beat me up for disparaging Khomeini.
My text has been criticized for underestimating the preponderance of the religious
element in the uprising. I assumed that both the strength of the Khomeiniist movement and
its reactionary nature were obvious. In any case, though Khomeinis eventual victory
seemed likely, I did not believe it was a foregone conclusion as it was, it took
him several months to really consolidate his power. Leaving aside the admittedly
overenthusiastic opening sentence, which was added on a last-minute impulse, my text was
simply an attempt to cut through the prevalent confusions and distinguish the various
forces and factors in play; it presented possibilities, not probabilities or predictions.
For whatever it may be worth, someone later wrote to me: I was in Iran shortly after
the revolution. I hitchhiked from the Pakistan border to the Turkish border. I can tell of
dozens of examples where ordinary people had taken power. Your analysis of the situation
in Iran and its possibilities is the only bit of information I have seen that
even remotely resembles the truth. I know nothing about the reliability of this
person, but every statement in my text was based on documented sources, most of them no
more radical than Le Monde or the Christian Science Monitor.
The Monitor, incidentally, is the only mainstream news publication I read with
any regularity: Ive subscribed to it ever since I discovered it while researching my
Iran piece. It is, of course, far from radical, but I find it less obnoxious than other
American papers, and within its moderate, more or less liberal-humanistic limits (the
papers religious perspective rarely obtrudes) it gives more international news and
wastes less space on the latest moronic sensations.
In fall 1979 I went to Europe for four months. Several weeks were taken up in side
trips to meet contacts in Mannheim, Nantes, Bordeaux, Barcelona, Athens and Thessaloniki.
The rest of the time I stayed in Paris, hosted by Nadine and Joël, with whom I was back
on excellent terms (they had visited me in California the year before). I also saw the
Deneverts a few times. After the 1977 break they too had gone through a traumatic period
that had eventually led them to question the sort of hostility and delirium that had
frequently accompanied breaks in the situ milieu, and had initiated some degree of
reconciliation with some of the people they had previously broken with. This did not mean
that they were resigned to settling back into the usual superficial social relations. A
year later they sent out a set of Lettres sur lamitié in which they
discussed their recent experiences on the terrain of political and personal relationships
and declared a friendship strike of indefinite duration. That was the last I
ever heard of them. The next time I tried to get in touch with them they had moved and
left no address. (Does anyone know where they are?) [I have since found them.]
While I was in Paris I drafted a leaflet, apropos of nothing in particular (I
envisioned handing it out at random in the Métro, etc.). What with one thing or another I
never got around to printing it up. Here it is for the first time, seventeen years later:
PARIS SPLEEN
In Paris more than anywhere else, especially since the situationists, everything has
been said but few have taken advantage of it. Because theory is in itself commonplace it
can only be of value to people who are not. Radical texts have become as routine as the
work and consumption they denounce. Yes, we know its necessary to abolish the state
and wage labor, to liberate our everyday lives, etc. But we become blasé. It becomes
difficult to think for ourselves. Revolution is contained by overexposure.
Only exceptionally are our struggles open and clear.
Usually we are entangled, implicated in what we want to fight. Its easy, and
comforting, to blame the capitalists or the bureaucrats or the police; but its only
thanks to the passive complicity of the masses that those small minorities
have any power. Its not so much the fault of the unions or the mass
media for falsifying workers struggles after all, thats their function
as of the workers who fail to themselves assure the communication of their own
experiences and perspectives.
Bad enough that the system exploits us and hurts us
and keeps us in ignorance. Worse is that it warps us, turns us into mean, petty,
spiteful, cowardly creatures. Were we confronted with a single gross temptation to
self-betrayal we might well refuse it. But little by little a thousand compromises wear
away our resistance. We become incapable of any experimentation, for fear of disturbing
the defenses we have built up to repress our shame. Even when we arrive at considering a
critical action, we hesitate; we find so many objections we are afraid of seeming
foolish, afraid of being mistaken, afraid that our idea wont work, or that if it
does it wont amount to anything.
Hypocrite reader, your blasé expression doesnt
hide the fact that you know very well what Im talking about. You go from ideology to
ideology, each containing just enough truth to keep you hanging on but fragmentary enough
to keep you from confronting the totality concretely. Successively disillusioned, you end
up believing in nothing but the illusory nature of everything. Cynical spectator, like
everyone else you pride yourself on being different. You console yourself by
despising the naïve, the provincial, the yokel, the person who still believes in God or
in his job whose caricatured submission is presented as a foil precisely to make
you forget your own submission. You are even telling yourself right now that this applies
to most people but not to you; while the person next to you thinks that it applies to you
but not to him.
You vaguely imagine that somehow your life may get
better. Do you really have any reason to believe that? Are you going to continue as you
have until you die? Have you nothing to say? Have you no audacity, no imagination?
Dialogue must concern itself with the suppression of
the conditions that suppress dialogue!
Lets resolve the anachronistic social
question so we can tackle more interesting problems!
Pettiness is always counterrevolutionary!
The SI Anthology
Back in Berkeley I started working on my Situationist International Anthology.
For years I had been frustrated by the lack of SI translations. Most of those that had
appeared were inaccurate, and the few relatively good ones were usually out of print. It
was difficult for people to get a sense of the overall situationist perspective and how it
had developed by reading just a few scattered articles, and the only general collection,
Christopher Grays Leaving the Twentieth Century, was inadequate in several
respects. I had already considered doing some translations myself, but my 1975 proposal
(in the Blind Men and the Elephant poster) had failed to interest any
publishers, and the thought of self-publishing a large collection seemed too overwhelming.
Delay was also caused by two projected commercial editions of Vaneigems Treatise
that proved abortive: those of us who might have gone ahead to translate and publish
situationist texts ourselves were misled by these publishers firm assurance that
their editions would soon be out which, if true, would probably have led to other
situationist books being issued by major publishers.
Eventually, after yet other rumors of new translations proved unfounded, I concluded
that if I wanted a competent collection I would have to do it myself. Though not totally
fluent in French, I did by this time have a pretty thorough understanding of the texts and
I was able to enlist Joël and Nadines help in clarifying any obscurities that
remained.
As soon as I had worked out a fairly specific idea of the contents of the Anthology
I sent out a prospectus to some thirty publishers, but ran into the usual presumption that
situationist writings were too difficult or obscure. In retrospect this was probably
fortunate. Had I succeeded, I might have had to worry about the publisher arguing about my
choice of texts, insisting on a preface by some radical celebrity, adding blurbs by
reviewers who didnt know what they were talking about, delaying publication, letting
the book go out of print, etc. By self-publishing I was able to control the whole project.
Among other things this meant that I could maintain the SIs original noncopyright
policy and that I was able to keep the price down and send large quantities of free copies
to prisoners and to indigent comrades in East Europe and the Third World.
The project took up most of the next two years. This was just before the advent of
cheap desktop publishing; with present-day equipment I could have saved hundreds of hours
and thousands of dollars on typesetting, indexing, pasteup, etc. But believing that these
texts are the most important body of social critique in this century, I was quite happy to
do whatever was necessary to present them as accurately as possible.
I dont believe there are any significant errors in my translation, though I might
have been able to render some of the passages a bit more clearly and idiomatically (as I
did in the new version of the Watts article I recently issued). A few people have
questioned my decision to anglicize dérive and détournement, but I
have yet to see any alternatives that are not more confusing. (On the other hand, I now
feel that the one other French term I anglicized, récupération, can be most
clearly translated by cooption, despite the slightly different connotations of
the two words.)
As happens with any anthology, some readers disagreed with the choice of articles.
Michel Prigent, who seems never to have forgiven me for having pointed out that his own
translations of situationist texts (published under the names Piranha and Chronos) are
clumsily overliteral, accused me of shaping the selection to accord with my own
ideological perspectives; but aside from apparently implying that I should
have included one or two texts that he himself had already translated, the only
alternative he suggested was a complete English edition of the French journals. I hope
someone will eventually publish such an edition, but this would have tripled the time and
expense of what was already a pretty overwhelming project.
A few other critics claimed that I concealed the earlier, more cultural
phase of the SI. The Anthology is admittedly weighted somewhat toward the
situationists later, more political period (without which no one but a
few specialists in obscure avant-garde movements would have ever heard of them), but the
main features of the earlier phase could hardly escape anyone who reads the first dozen
articles of the book. I probably would have included more selections from Potlatch
and other pre-SI material if it had been available at the time; but if I didnt go
into the subsequent history of the Nashists and other artistic tendencies this
is because I think they are of little interest and have little to do with the
situationists most original and vital contributions. Since the books
appearance these critics have had fifteen years to publish the vital texts I supposedly
concealed; so far what they have come up with has not been overwhelming.
Other readers wished there were more annotations explaining obscure references.
Actually the supposed obscurity of situationist texts is greatly exaggerated. They usually
assume little more than a minimal acquaintance with a few basic works and major historical
events that anyone with a serious desire to understand and change the world should
certainly find out about for themselves if they dont already know about them. The
context usually makes the sense pretty clear even if you are not familiar, say, with some
particular European ideologue being denounced, just as you can learn a lot from Marx and
Engels without knowing anything about the particular philosophers and economists they
criticized.
Others wished I had included some of the original SI illustrations. I like them as much
as anyone. But many of the best ones (particularly the detourned comics) were already so
widely reprinted and imitated that they were tending to distract from the writings and
reinforce the popular misconception that situationist publications consisted of zappy
collages designed to blow peoples minds. I felt that it wouldnt hurt the image
addicts to pay attention to the simple unadorned texts for a change.
There were also, of course, many more comments about the texts themselves. In the last
few years books and articles on the SI have become even more numerous than in the
immediate aftermath of May 1968, and the SI has become more intriguingly notorious than
ever.
A little of the aura has even rubbed off on me. Since the original SI members have
generally remained unavailable, I have sometimes been considered the next best thing, and
have been asked to do booksignings, to grant interviews, to give talks, to be videotaped,
to contribute to various publications, to provide information for graduate theses, to take
part in radical conferences and academic symposiums, to be a visiting artist
at an art institute, and even to furnish background material for a television program. I
have refused all these requests.
This isnt a matter of rigid principle. Someday, if Im ever in the mood and
am given sufficiently free conditions, I may decide to detourn one of these situations, as
Debord once did when he gave a talk at a conference on everyday life (see SI
Anthology, pp. 68-75 [new ed. 90-99]) [Perspectives for Conscious
Changes in Everyday Life] which among other things criticized the inherent limits and
biases of such conferences. But on the whole I think people are fooling themselves if they
believe that the radical effect of this sort of publicity outweighs all the trivializing
and neutralizing effects (including the subtle temptations to accentuate ones own
trendy or sensational qualities while refraining from offending anyone, in order to ensure
that one will be invited again). In any case, although Im somewhat less rigorous in
these matters than was the SI, when I am asked to present or represent the
situationist perspective I feel I convey that perspective most incisively by
refusing the kinds of things the situationists themselves consistently refused.
Anyone is free to reprint, adapt or comment on the SI Anthology or any of my
other publications. I cant take seriously those who never do so while seeking some
personal encounter or scoop designed to give spectators the impression they have gotten
some inside dope about texts they often havent even bothered to read, much less put
into practice. It seems to me that maintaining this distance puts things on the clearest
basis. Shortly after the publication of the Anthology, for example, a certain
professional writer wanted to interview me to obtain information for an article he had
been asked to write on the situationists for the weekly East Bay Express. I
refused to have anything to do with him, and the projected article never appeared. Around
the same time I also refused to meet Greil Marcus when he was preparing a review of the Anthology
for the Village Voice, but to his credit he did not let this stop him from
writing a lengthy and very laudatory article. There was, after all, plenty of information
in the SI texts themselves, and because he read them carefully he was able to get most of
his facts right. Though limited in some regards,(1) his
article was an honest expression of his take on the situationists, done out of his own
enthusiastic interest, not because someone assigned him to do it or because I sucked up to
him. Everything is so much clearer this way.
By the early 1980s I had reestablished friendly relations with most of the other
Notice signers. They had gone their various ways and, except for Chris and
Isaac, who had each put out two or three pamphlets in the interim, none of them had
carried on any notable radical activity since our 1977 breakup. In 1982 Isaac and his wife
Terrel Seltzer also put out Call It Sleep, a 45-minute videotape roughly in the
style of Debords films. Not long afterwards Isaac renounced his previous radical
perspective, justifying his subsequent devotion to primarily financial pursuits with what
seems to be a sort of neo-laissez-faire ideology in a bizarre book he co-authored with
Paul Béland, Money: Myths and Realities (1986).
Ive made some criticisms of Isaac because he expressed viewpoints from which I
felt obliged to dissociate myself. But I would like to acknowledge my debt to him and to
many other former comrades. We went through a lot of exciting times together. All the
polemics have tended to overemphasize the problems of the situ milieu. For me, at any
rate, the ventures recounted here so tersely contained many valued relationships, lots of
good times, and an immense amount of laughs; even the fiascos were often amusing. I hope
my old friends havent entirely forgotten them.
Once the SI Anthology was published I felt less obliged to devote so much time
and energy to explaining the situationist perspective, correcting misconceptions, etc. The
most significant questions were dealt with quite lucidly by the situationists themselves
in the texts that were now available. Over the next few years, apart from carrying on more
or less routine correspondence and distribution and making occasional notes, I began to
explore other things.
Rock climbing
My first new venture turned out to be rock climbing, one of the last things I would
ever have imagined myself getting into. Like almost everyone, I was very afraid of
heights; but during recent outings I had begun to find myself more and more intrigued by
the idea of climbing, feeling a sort of primal, primate allure whenever I saw cliffs or
rock formations. Eventually I suppressed my terror and signed up for a beginning rock
climbing class. We spent a couple hours learning the basic principles, then went to some
outcrops in the Berkeley Hills and actually climbed. A few weeks later I took a more
advanced class in Yosemite and did my first really high climbs on the granite cliffs,
hundreds of feet straight up.
For the next two years rock climbing was my passion. When possible I went on trips in
Yosemite and elsewhere in the Sierras; but most of the time I climbed right in town,
biking several times a week up to Indian Rock for bouldering (practicing difficult moves
near the ground). With the right kind of shoes (made with high-friction rubber soles and
worn supertight so your foot becomes one firm, scrunched-up unit like a mountain
goats hoof) its amazing what meager indentations in the rock can accommodate
your toe or finger a pea-sized bump will do if you orient your body just right,
gauging the right balance of opposing forces, moving carefully but with relaxed confidence
(if you tremble youre more likely to slip).
If you pay attention and use the ropes properly, rock climbing isnt as dangerous
as it might seem. Still, theres obviously some risk. At first I loved it so much
that I felt the risk was acceptable; but after a couple years I decided to quit while I
was ahead. In Aldous Huxleys utopian novel Island its part of the
education of every adolescent to have at least one psychedelic trip and one rock climbing
trip (though not at the same time!). Considering their risks I would hesitate to recommend
either one unreservedly, but both experiences have certainly meant a lot to me.
I still occasionally do a little bouldering and hiking (most often over the hills,
through the woods and along the beach at nearby Point Reyes), but my main exercise in
recent years has been basketball and tennis. Playing basketball with the black teenagers
in my neighborhood was an interesting cultural as well as physical challenge: I felt like
I had accomplished something when I finally became accepted as more or less one of the
guys. More recently Ive shifted to tennis. Its also virtually the only thing I
ever watch on television: I lug my set out of storage three or four times a year for
Wimbledon and other major tournaments.
In fall 1984 I made another trip to France, staying most of the time in Paris with my
friend Christian Camus. We had originally met in a situ context during my previous trip,
but by this time his focus had shifted to experimenting with ways to enliven his own
immediate milieu. Thats fine with me: if I have to choose, I prefer intellectually
alive people who do interesting things with their life over those who do nothing but
regurgitate political platitudes and gripe all the time. Full of playful irony,
provocative banter and jokes in several languages, and possessing a keen insight into
peoples games and scripts (in Eric Bernes sense), Christian keeps me on my
toes when I start becoming too stodgy and pedantic.
There were two side trips: to the Dordogne region in southwest France where Joël and
Nadine were now living, and to Germany to revisit my Mannheim friends and briefly meet
another group in West Berlin.
Rexroth again
Back in Berkeley I began work on two Rexroth projects. During the early seventies my
interest in Rexroth had waned. In the light of the situationist perspectives his political
analysis seemed insufficient, his notion of subversion through art and poetry seemed
dubious, and some of his activities, such as writing newspaper columns or dabbling in
Catholicism, seemed unacceptably compromising.
In less direct ways, however, his influence persisted. Recalling his skeptical
magnanimity helped me keep things in perspective during some of the more traumatic situ
affairs. In my 1977 religion pamphlet I was already
trying to figure out to what extent these two major influences of my life could be
reconciled; since that time, my enthusiasm for him had fully revived. Besides rereading
all his books, I hunted up and photocopied as many of his uncollected articles as I could
locate in the old magazine files at the University library, including all of the 800+
columns he wrote for the San Francisco Examiner.
On a lark, I sent out a proposal to edit an anthology of the columns. There was enough
tentative interest on the part of a few publishers that I spent several months going
through the columns in order to prepare a representative sampling. Ultimately only one
small publisher made an offer, and it was so unsatisfactory that I rejected it and decided
to put the project on the shelf. I would have been happy to put in a lot of time editing
the columns for a modest royalty, but I didnt feel like publishing them myself.
It had meanwhile occurred to me that it was more to the point to express my own
perspective on Rexroth, to try to convey just what it was that I thought was so great
about him as well as to clarify the points where I disagreed with him. Besides hopefully
turning people on to him, this would be a good way for me to work out my own views on all
sorts of topics.
This project turned out to occupy me on and off over the next five years. I could, of
course, have written most of what I had to say in a much shorter period; but since I had
no deadline I took my time and indulged myself, reading his works over and over, gleaning
favorite quotes, accumulating masses of notes, and following out all sorts of tangents. It
might occur to me, say, that it would be interesting to compare Rexroth with other
freewheeling writers such as H. L. Mencken, Edmund Wilson, George Orwell or Paul Goodman;
this would be a good excuse to reread several of their books, even if I ended up making
little if any use of them in my text.
Zen practice
In 1985 I also began a regular Zen practice. Over the years I had occasionally done a
little zazen at home, but I had scarcely taken part in any formal group practice since the
sixties. As I mentioned earlier, in addition to laziness and involvement in other things,
I had reservations about some of the traditional forms. Although Zen is less dogmatic and
more intellectually sophisticated than most religions, traditional Zen practice is quite
strict and formal. I could recognize the need for certain forms to facilitate
concentration and self-discipline, but I was dubious about others that seemed to be mere
vestiges of Oriental social hierarchy. I was quite aware of the deplorable role religion
has played in reinforcing acquiescence in the established order, and of peoples
remarkable capacity for self-deception.(2)
Rexroth used to say, Religion is not something you believe, its something
you do. I dont know if this can justly be said of the major Western religions,
which very emphatically insist on belief in certain dogmas, but its at least
partially true of some of the Eastern ones. The Eastern religions probably contain as much
bullshit as the Western ones (the more superstitious or obnoxious aspects are usually
discreetly omitted in Western popularizations), but they do tend to be more tolerant and
ecumenical. Their myths are often explicitly presented as mere spiritual metaphors and
there is relatively little insistence on beliefs. Zen in particular is more a practice
than a belief system. Verbal teachings are considered meaningless unless you test and
assimilate them for yourself. The most vital teachings are by living example. Despite an
element of guru-disciple hierarchy (which has been considerably attenuated as Zen has been
adapted in the West), the emphasis is not on worship of superior beings but on the
practice of meditation and mindfulness in ones own day-to-day activity.
In my Rexroth book I implied where I personally draw the line: It is one thing to
practice some type of meditation or take part in some ritual or festival that everyone
understands is simply an arbitrary form to focus ones life or celebrate communion;
it is another to seem to lend credibility to repugnant institutions and to sick dogmas
that are still widely believed. I suppose this is mainly a matter of taste. I have
friends who have fewer qualms than I, and others who wouldnt be caught dead taking
part in any formal religious practice whatsoever. Personally I like most of the Zen
rituals, the silence, the bells, the incense, the neat Japanese-style decor, the
ultraconsiderate etiquette. And practicing with a group offers many advantages in the way
of instruction, camaraderie and mutual encouragement.
Anyway, I was in a mood to suspend my relatively mild objections and try out a more
regular practice. The Berkeley center I had gone to in the sixties had quietly carried on
the Soto Zen practice brought to America by Shunryu Suzuki.(3)
The teacher, Mel Weitsman, one of Suzukis students whom I had known in the sixties,
was both solid and low-key, and the members, a varied and generally congenial assortment
of laypeople trying to integrate Zen practice into their everyday lives, seemed to have
kept their sense of humor and to have avoided any excessive cultishness. And I didnt
even have to get up early: they now had afternoon as well as morning sittings.
I started going for a forty-minute period of zazen every weekday afternoon.
In zazen (sitting meditation) we sit cross-legged on a firm cushion, facing a blank
wall. The belly is pushed slightly forward so that the spine is erect and the body is
stably balanced on buttocks and knees. Mouth closed. Eyes lowered but open. Shoulders
relaxed. Hands in lap, left on right, thumb tips lightly touching. If sitting cross-legged
is too difficult other postures, such as sitting over ones heels or even sitting on
a chair, are okay as long as the back is straight; but the cross-legged lotus position
(both feet resting on opposite thighs) or some easier variation thereof (one foot on
opposite thigh or calf) provides optimum groundedness.
In Soto-style zazen we generally concentrate on maintaining our posture (constantly
correcting the tendencies to slump or to tense up) and following our breath
breathing from the abdomen and silently counting exhalations:
O-n-n-n-e . . ., t-w-o-o-o . . . If you get to
ten you just start all over again. The numbers simply provide an arbitrary nonemotive
focus to help maintain concentration. The point is to get as close as you can to
doing nothing while remaining totally alert.
Its not as easy as you might think. Most of us have developed a strong habitual
resistance to being in the present. What usually happens is that by the time youve
got to three or four, youve become caught up in memories,
daydreams, desires, worries, fears, regrets. This repetitive cacophony is going on in our
minds most of the time, but in zazen you become more acutely aware of it.
It may come as quite a shock to realize how petty and compulsive your usual thoughts
and feelings are. It did to me, anyway. I could see how Christian believers going through
similar experiences saw them as a confirmation of humanitys inherent sinfulness,
leaving them no way out but faith in some supernatural redemption. Buddhism addresses
these matters more calmly, tolerantly, objectively, without getting so caught up in futile
breastbeating. Trying to repress the monkey mind only stirs up more emotional
entanglement. But if you just sit still, without any value judgments, and keep coming back
to your breath, the disturbances, deprived of reinforcement, will tend to settle out,
become less emotive, less subject to compulsive habits and associations. Its not a
matter of eliminating thoughts or emotions, but of ceasing to cling to them
ceasing to cling even to your sense of progress in not clinging. The moment you
start thinking: Ah! Now Im finally getting somewhere! Wont so-and-so be
impressed! youve drifted away from present awareness. Just calmly note the
fact, and start again: O-n-n-n-e . . .,
t-w-o-o-o . . .
After a couple months of daily sitting I started taking part in the monthly sesshins:
one or more days of intensive Zen practice, primarily zazen, but with other activities
carried out with a similar effort to focus mindfully on just what you are doing. A sesshin
typically runs from 5:00 in the morning to 9:00 in the evening. Zazen is in 40-minute
periods, alternating with 10-minute periods of kinhin (ultraslow walking
meditation to stretch the legs). Beginning and end of periods are signaled by bells or
wooden clappers. No talking except for minimal necessary communication during work. The
procedure of serving and eating, which also takes place in the zendo (meditation
hall), is elaborately ritualistic. Servers bring a dish, you bow to each other, they serve
you, you make a palm-up gesture to indicate enough, you bow to each other
again, then they proceed to the next person. . . .
I particularly liked the longer sesshins (five or seven days). The first day of a
sesshin you may still be preoccupied with your other affairs, but after three or four days
you can hardly help settling into the sesshin rhythm. They say there are two kinds of Zen
experience. One is sudden and unmistakable, like getting a bucket of water dumped on your
head. The other is more gradual and subtle, like walking through a mist and then noticing
that your clothes have imperceptibly become soaking wet. Thats sort of what you feel
like in the later stages of a sesshin. It all starts coming together.
It can also be pretty grueling, with fatigue, stiff shoulders, aching back, sore knees.
Though it becomes easier as the body gets used to the cross-legged position, most people
continue to experience some knee pain during sesshins. The point isnt to see how
much pain you can stand (if its really too much, you can always shift to some easier
position), but to learn to deal with whatever comes with equanimity; to stop yearning for
the past or the future and settle right in the moment. After a while you discover that
suffering is caused less by pain itself than by cringing apprehension of future pain. The
first day of a sesshin can be horrifying if youre sitting there thinking that you
have seven more days of this to endure. But if you take it just one breath at a time,
its not so bad.
(This is where one of the greatest advantages of practicing with a group comes in. When
youre sitting alone its too easy to rationalize stopping when you feel a
little discomfort; but when several participants have committed themselves to a sesshin
and are all sitting there together, each persons effort encourages everyone else.)
As soon as you begin to get accustomed to the zazen, other responsibilities are thrust
upon you which require equal mindfulness. If youre a server your mind mustnt
wander or you might spill soup on someone. If you head up a dishwashing team consisting of
people who arent familiar with the procedures, you need to make sure dishes are put
away in the right places, yet you dont want to disturb peoples efforts to
concentrate by yacking away about every detail. Each situation presents new challenges to
find the right balance between efficiency and presence, calculation and spontaneity,
effort and ease.
Hopefully some of these habits gradually become integrated into your everyday life. I
dont want to give the impression that zazen is a cure-all, but I do think that some
sort of regular meditation helps one to develop a little more patience and sense of
perspective; to recognize certain problems as unimportant or illusory, and to deal more
calmly and objectively with those that still seem significant.
After a year and a half of intensive day-to-day involvement with the center I got a bit
burned out, and reverted to doing my daily zazen at home. I continued, however, to take
part in the longer sesshins. I also started going to sesshins at some of the other centers
in northern California, including one that Gary Snyder and others (including an old friend
of Sams and mine from the sixties) had recently built on their land in the Sierra
Nevada foothills. As might be expected, they have a strong back-to-nature orientation:
some of their sesshins are combined with seven-day backpacking trips an arduous but
powerful combination!
In early 1988 I started thinking about taking part in an intensive three-month
practice period at the Tassajara monastery. For years I had vaguely imagined
that going to a Zen monastery would be one of the ultimate things to do; now I began to
think I might actually do it. In the spring I went to Tassajara for a week just to see
what it felt like, and liked it very much indeed. Back in the Bay Area I took part in a
few more sesshins, arranged my affairs, and in late September packed up and drove back
down.
The first Zen monastery in the Western hemisphere (founded in 1967 by Shunryu Suzuki),
Tassajara is located in the coastal mountains about a hundred miles south of the Bay Area.
It used to be a hot springs resort, and still functions as such in the summer; but during
the rest of the year its closed to the public.
Besides Mel, who led the practice period, there were 26 participants (14 men and 12
women) plus two staff people who took care of technical maintenance work and shopping
trips to town. During the next three months none of us left Tassajara and no one else came
there except a couple visiting Japanese monks and two or three Zen Center people briefly
down from San Francisco.
Eleven of us were there for our first practice period and had to go through a five-day
initiation: a superintensive sesshin with even less physical and mental relief from zazen
(no kinhin, no lectures, no work). Except for a half-hour break after each meal and
bathroom breaks as needed, we had to remain seated on our cushions from 4:20 a.m. to 9:00
p.m.
Even more than in a sesshin, everything levels out. Time slows. Attention is reduced to
the simplest things. Nothing to do but stew in your own juices (literally as well as
figuratively: its sweltering) and learn to calmly ignore the relentless little
mucous flies that delight in crawling around your eyes, ears and nostrils. (The only
solution is to accept them: Okay, you little rascals, do what you must! Im not
moving.) Just sit, perfectly still, breath after breath. . . . The bell
rings. Slowly get up, keeping eyes lowered. Come together for a ritual. Then back to your
cushion for a meal. Then a break. Slowly exit the zendo, striving to maintain complete
concentration despite the sudden splendor of the natural world outside. Have a cup of tea.
Massage your aching legs. A few precious minutes are left for sitting by the creek and
letting the sound of the water pour through your head. Then back to the zendo. Settle into
the right posture. Become perfectly still. Just this breath, breath after
breath. . . .
After it was over, we reverted to a somewhat less intense schedule. Every morning at
4:00 we were awakened by someone running down the main path jangling a loud bell. Just
time to wash my face, do a few yoga stretches, put on my meditation robe and go to the
zendo. The morning was like a sesshin: mostly zazen, with breakfast and lunch served
ritual-style in the zendo. In the afternoon we worked for three hours. I was part of the
miscellaneous contingent and did all sorts of different jobs carpentry, hauling,
gardening, dishwashing, cleaning, taking care of the library. After work came the most
luxurious part of the day: a leisurely hot bath followed by an hour of free time. Then
back on with our robes and to the zendo for dinner. Then a study period, then more zazen.
To bed at 9:30. There was never any trouble getting to sleep: the next thing I heard was
that jangling wakeup bell. . . .
Every fifth day we got to sleep till the indulgently late hour of 5:00, and after one
period of zazen and breakfast we had free time until evening. This was generally spent
doing laundry, packing a sack lunch and taking a hike, or sitting around reading, writing
letters or quietly socializing. In the evening we had a class on Dogens Genjo
Koan: To study the Buddha way is to study the self. To study the self is to
forget the self. To forget the self is to be actualized by the myriad things. When
actualized by the myriad things, your body and mind as well as the bodies and minds of
others drop away. No trace of realization remains, and this no-trace is continued
endlessly. . . .
Within a few weeks the weather turned frigid. Shaded by the surrounding mountains,
Tassajara becomes cold and damp in fall and winter, at least until midday, and there was
no heating or insulation. At least the cold helped us wake up. Though the routine was
Spartan in some ways, it was refreshing to get down to basics and live in a community in
which everyone was quietly working together. For me a sesshin or a practice period is a
hint of how life could be. Upon meeting anyone on a path we both stopped, bowed to each
other, then continued on our way without saying a word. Wonderful!
Reading,
writing, translating and music
Back in Berkeley, I resumed what has been my ongoing Zen practice ever
since (brief daily zazen at home plus long sesshins a few times a year) and got back to
work on my Rexroth book [The Relevance of Rexroth]. I had
accumulated hundreds of pages of notes, but eventually I decided to leave most of them out
and pare the text down to a brief and relatively accessible presentation of a few main
themes. It was finally completed in 1990. Sales have been pretty modest, but (one of the
advantages of self-publishing) Ive also been able to give copies to hundreds of
friends and acquaintances, sometimes even to total strangers. Ill continue to do so
with the numerous copies I still have on hand, but Ive also included it in this
collection [the book Public Secrets] because it goes into a lot of matters that
are important to me but that arent dealt with in my other writings.
In January 1991 the Gulf war brought hundreds of thousands of people into the streets
for the first time in years. I immediately started writing The War
and the Spectacle. Most of the points in that text were already being widely discussed
or intuited, but I felt that the situationist concept of the spectacle would help tie them
together. With a little help from some friends I distributed 15,000 copies over the next
few months. Besides mailing them to individuals, groups and radical bookstores around the
world, I saturated the local antiwar milieu, handing them out at marches, rallies,
demonstrations, films, concert benefits, radical theater performances in the parks, forums
on the war and the media, and appearances of Ramsey Clark and Thich Nhat Hanh.
It was the most well received text Ive ever done. Nearly everyone who got it read
it, no one complained that they couldnt understand it, many people later told me
that they had photocopied it and sent it to friends or entered it onto computer networks,
and it was widely reprinted and translated.
One of the few critics of the piece expressed surprise that I took over two months to
write such a short article. I envy people who can work faster, but for me thats
about par for the course. I do write a lot noting anything that has any conceivable
connection with whatever topic Im working on, sometimes virtually free-associating
but Im not usually satisfied till Ive drastically condensed the
material, going over every detail numerous times, eliminating redundancies and
exaggerations, experimenting with different rearrangements, considering potential
objections and misconceptions. I feel that one carefully considered text will have a
sharper and ultimately more far-reaching impact than a dozen slipshod ones.
Since I only tackle subjects that Im really interested in, the process is usually
pretty engrossing. Sometimes I get into the ecstatic negative rush state
described in Double-Reflection so many ideas flood through my mind I
hardly have time to write them all down; out walking, I may have to stop every few minutes
to jot down some idea; I may even get up in the middle of the night to scribble notes to
myself. Sometimes I get so involved that if I faced imminent death my first concern would
be: Just let me finish this piece, then Ill go happily!
At other times I get burned out and depressed; everything Ive written seems
boring and trite. I may work all day on some passage, lie awake thinking about it that
night, then throw the whole thing out in disgust the next morning. As I get closer to
publication I agonize over possible consequences. A poorly expressed point might lead to a
lot of time wasted in misunderstandings; a well-expressed one might trigger a turning
point in someones life.
We all have a natural tendency to repress things that contradict our own views. The
best way I know to mitigate this tendency is the one Darwin used: I had, during many
years, followed a golden rule, namely, that whenever a published fact, a new observation
or thought, came across me which was opposed to my general results, to make a memorandum
of it without fail and at once; for I had found by experience that such facts and thoughts
were far more apt to escape from the memory than favorable ones. I try to follow
this rule, playing devils advocate on every issue, carefully considering any
critiques of myself and immediately noting anything that occurs to me in the way of
possible objections to my ideas answering them if I can, modifying or abandoning my
position if I cant. Even the most delirious attacks usually contain some valid
points, or at least reveal misconceptions that I need to clarify.
Its necessary to strike a psychological balance. Too much worry about possible
objections makes you afraid to do anything. Orthodox situationists scorn my mysticism, New
Ageists feel Im too rationalistic, old leftists denounce me for downplaying class
struggle, arbiters of political correctness imply that I should express more contrition
for being a white American male, academics fault my lack of scholarly objectivity,
hangloose types find me too meticulous, some complain that my writing is too difficult,
others accuse me of oversimplifying. . . . If I took all these objections
too seriously, Id become a catatonic! Eventually you just have to go for it.
As far as possible I try to make each project a new venture, choosing a topic I
havent explored or a method I havent tried before. This makes it more
interesting for me at least, and hopefully for the reader as well. I also try to avoid
taking on too many things at once. Its easy to get burned out if you constantly
absorb all the bad news of the world or try to contribute to every good cause. I generally
concentrate on one or two projects that interest me so deeply that Im willing to
devote to them whatever time and expense is necessary, while ignoring most other things
that I have no real intention of doing anything about.
Back to France in fall 1991, once again staying with Christian (in a household with his
girlfriend and his brother). There were three side trips: to Grenoble to visit
Jean-François Labrugère, a friend who has translated several of my texts with an
exemplary meticulousness; to Warsaw to meet some young anarchists who were just
discovering the situationists; and to Barcelona, where I joined some of my German friends.
On the way back to Paris I stopped in the Dordogne region to see Joël and Nadine. I had
turned them on to Rexroth years before, and they had eventually become as enthusiastic
Rexrothians as I and had recently completed a translation of the first of his books to
appear in French, Les Classiques revisités.
I spent a lot of my time in Paris exploring my biggest musical enthusiasm of the last
few years, vintage French popular songs scouring the flea markets and used record
stores for old albums, taping my friends collections, and trying to decipher the
more obscure, slangy lyrics. Its a rich, fascinating world, from nineteenth-century
cabaret singers like Aristide Bruant (the guy with red scarf and black cape pictured on
the well-known Toulouse-Lautrec poster, which was commissioned to advertise the café
where Bruant performed his own songs), through the tragic-sordid chansons réalistes
(Fréhel, Damia, early Piaf) and upbeat music hall artists (especially the delightfully
zany Charles Trenet) of the 1930s, to the post-World War II renaissance of great
poet-singers: Georges Brassens (the greatest, ranging from worldly-wise elegies to
outrageous satirical humor), Anne Sylvestre (a lovely lyricist, somewhat reminiscent of
early Leonard Cohen or Joni Mitchell), Léo Ferré, Jean-Roger Caussimon, Jacques Brel,
Guy Béart, Félix Leclerc; along with many excellent interpreters of earlier material, of
whom my favorite is Germaine Montero.
Its hard to find such music here in the States, but my friends and I occasionally
get a little taste when the Baguette Quartette performs at the local Freight and Salvage
folk music club, which has hosted so many wonderful musicians over the last three decades.
Although Ive gone through a number of musical enthusiasms over the years, from the
elemental sounds of Japanese taiko drum ensembles to the hard-boiled rebetika songs of the
Greek urban underworld, Ive always retained a special fondness for old-time American
folk music, probably because its the only kind I can also play. I still enjoy doing
so with small gatherings of friends (including a few who date from my old Shimer and
Chicago days) and I rarely miss the monthly East Bay Fiddlin and Pickin
Potlucks, where a hundred or so people bring food and play music all afternoon at some
suitably large house. Interspersed with eating and socializing, people cluster into their
own preferred genres bluegrass, say, in the back yard, Irish music in the den,
group singing upstairs, 1930s swing around the piano (if there happens to be one),
old-time fiddle tunes on the front porch, blues, or perhaps cajun or klezmorim, in the
driveway or overflowing onto the sidewalk. Im usually to be found with one of the
old-time bunches, singing and playing fiddle or guitar nothing fancy, but enough to
have a good time. Everybody participates at their own level: less-skilled players like
myself tend to follow the more versatile ones as best we can, but any of us are always
free to initiate one of the numbers we know. The EBFPP has been smoothly functioning for
nearly twenty years now on a purely self-organized and volunteer basis. I sometimes think
of it, and of countless similar circles and networks that are going on all the time
without ever seeking or receiving notice in the spectacle, as modest foreshadowings of how
things would function in a sane society. Not that its any big deal. Thats the
point.
I still agree with the situationists that the arts are limited forms of creativity, and
that its more interesting to try to bring our creativity into the project of
transforming our lives, and ultimately our whole society. When Im engaged in that
great game I find I have less inclination for artistic activities. But theres a time
for everything. The situationist critique of the spectacle (i.e. of the
spectacle system) is a critique of an excessive social tendency; it does not mean
that its a sin to be a spectator, any more than the Marxian critique of the
commodity system implies that people should do without goods.
Ive always found it amusing that radicals feel they have to justify their
cultural consumption by pretending to find some radical message in it. Personally, I would
far rather read a lively human being with a twinkle in his eye, like Rexroth, Mencken,
Henry Miller or Ford Madox Ford, than some inane politically correct priggery. For that
matter, Id rather read Homer or Basho or Montaigne or Gibbon than virtually any
modern writer. I can still appreciate certain great works of the past, recognizing that
their limitations were understandable in the context of their time; but its hard to
take seriously post-1968 visionaries who havent even noticed the new possibilities
of life. When it comes to contemporary authors, I scarcely read anything but frankly
escapist works that have no pretensions of profundity or radicality. Some of my favorites
are Rex Stouts detective stories (not so much for the plots as for the amusing world
of the Nero Wolfe household and Archie Goodwins lively narration); Jack Vances
fantasy and science fiction (for his remarkable variety of bizarre societies and his
drolly sardonic and ironic dialogues); and the nonfiction science essays of Isaac Asimov,
who has the rare knack of making just about anything he writes about both informative and
entertaining, whether hes explaining the latest discoveries in astronomy or particle
physics or speculating about what sex would be like in a zero-gravity space station.
In 1992 I set out to translate my Rexroth book into French. Even if it was never
published, I wanted at least to have an adequate version on hand to give to friends and
contacts. It was also a good opportunity to refine my still rather limited French skills.
I prepared a first draft on my dandy new computer, then over the next year mailed
successive drafts to Jean-François Labrugère, who made numerous corrections and
suggestions for more idiomatic style. We circulated a provisional version in 1993; a revised version will be published in early 1997.
During the same period I also began working with Joël Cornuault on a series of
translations of Rexroths own works, beginning with a bilingual edition of thirty of
his poems (Lautomne en Californie,
1994) and most recently including a selection from his journalism (Le San Francisco de
Kenneth Rexroth, 1997).
Its been a pleasure to collaborate with these two translators because both of
them have the patience to carefully verify the precise nuance of each phrase, even though
this can be pretty time-consuming when done by correspondence.
How this book came to be
1993 brought a lot of things together for me, ultimately leading to the book you have
in your hands [Public Secrets]. Early in the year I finally got around to reading
all of Prousts À la recherche du temps perdu (Remembrance of Things
Past). Immersing myself in that immense, sometimes tedious but usually fascinating
work got me in the mood to explore my own past. Primarily for my own interest (though with
the idea that I might eventually show the text to a few close friends), I started writing
down whatever I could remember from my early days. One thing reminded me of another, and
before I knew it there were over a hundred pages.
It turned out to be a good way to come to terms with a number of past problems and
mistakes. Recalling some of the good old times also inspired me to reestablish contact
with several old friends, including Mike Beardsley, whom I hadnt seen in over twenty
years. I managed to hunt him up, we had some long phone conversations, and in June I flew
to Chicago to see him. He had ended up in the rather stressful occupation of inner-city
school teacher, gone through several tempestuous marriages and divorces, and let himself
get way overweight; but he still had a lot of his old wild, independent spirit. It was
great to see him again. To add to the nostalgia, we drove out to the old Shimer campus for
a reunion that happened to be taking place at the same time and saw several other old
friends for the first time since the sixties.
Two months later I got the news of Mikes sudden death. In an effort to deal with
my sorrow I free-associated a long elegy celebrating our old friendship. Then I reworked
it into a short statement which I circulated to a few mutual friends and relatives:
MICHAEL BEARDSLEY
(1945-1993)
Mike died August 29 of heart failure while in the hospital being treated for pneumonia.
We were best friends for just two years, 1961-1963,
but they were vital, intensely exciting ones for both of us meeting as roommates at
Shimer College when we were just 16, then heading out on our own for bohemian explorations
in California, Texas (where he and his first wife Nancy had their baby) and Chicago. Just
a few years later a counterculture embodying some of our aspirations would surface and
spread among millions of people; but in the early sixties it was still just brewing
underground here and there; we and our fellow questers were still relatively isolated,
clumsily groping our own way for new visions, new lifestyles. In some ways this isolation
made things more difficult for us, but it also gave a special savor to the adventures and
even the misadventures the two of us shared discovering Zen and peyote, Rimbaud and
the Beats, Henry Miller and Hermann Hesse, Leadbelly and Ravi Shankar; living from day to
day, constantly experimenting, sometimes to the point of foolhardiness; hitching through
vast, oblivious Mid-America, maybe getting stranded overnight but not really minding all
that much, just strolling on down the empty highway humming Coltrane and imagining the
great world out there waiting to be explored. . . .
We eventually went our separate ways, with only very
sporadic communication over the next thirty years. Then a nostalgic mood luckily inspired
me to hunt him up again, and I flew back to Chicago to see him just a couple months ago.
Despite all the water under the bridge there were lively moments of our old camaraderie. I
looked forward to a renewed friendship in the years to come. Then suddenly he was gone.
As I cried over his death I realized I was really
crying mainly for myself, because a precious part of my own life was now gone. I know that
others who were close to him feel this same kind of personal loss. Its sad to think
of all the things we shared with him, or might yet have shared with him. Yet ultimately I
dont think there was very much of life that he missed out on. Mike had a very
tumultuous life, there were a lot of passions and pains, but he lived it with wonder and
intensity. One time he barged into my room while I was asleep and exclaimed: Ken!
Wake up! The world is magic! Wha ? Oh, yeah I know, Mike, but I
didnt get to bed till pretty late last night . . . But
Ken, I want you to really see that the world is magic. Right here! Just look! There
was no arguing with him I had to get up and see. And he was right, of course.
So long, old buddy.
It was Mikes death more than anything else that made me decide to publish this
autobiography. I had looked forward to showing it to him and having him remind me of
things Id forgotten. Now its too late. Im not personally expecting to
kick off any time soon, but this sort of shock does remind you that you dont live
forever and that if you want to do something youd do well to get on with it.
Bringing together so many loose ends in my life in turn encouraged me to get some of my
old notes in shape. Since the late seventies I had been accumulating observations on
different types of radical tactics and situations, but without ever managing to get them
coherently organized. Now the two projects began to complement each other. The casual
format of the autobiography lent itself to brief remarks on miscellaneous topics that
would not have merited whole articles (answers to questions I am often asked,
clarifications of various misconceptions, attempts to convey what I have found interesting
about this or that), in some cases serving to illustrate or elaborate on topics presented
more objectively in The Joy of Revolution. Material could be
shifted from one text to the other as appropriate.
I had also been thinking about reissuing my previous publications in some sort of
collected form. Apart from a few extravagant pronouncements and slips into kneejerk situ
rhetoric, I still stand by most of what I said in them, though they will no doubt seem
obscure to people who dont engage in the sort of ventures they deal with.
For a while I thought in terms of several separate publications: reserving the
autobiography for close friends while issuing the other writings as pamphlets or small
books; or perhaps reworking parts of the autobiography as a commentary to the reissued
texts; or putting out a journal that would include The Joy of Revolution plus
miscellaneous material. Eventually it occurred to me that a lot of things would be
simplified if I just put it all together in one big book. Incongruous as such a collection
might seem, it would have the advantage of revealing both the interrelations (which might
not otherwise be evident to readers) and the contradictions (which might not otherwise be
faced by myself).
Knowing that it would be read by a rather diverse range of people, most, but not all,
of whom would be familiar with the situationists, presented a number of interesting
challenges, both in relating different aspects to each other and in finding the right
balance between too little and too much explanation. The rather mixed result (part
political chronicle, part self-analysis, part simple nostalgia) will probably not fully
satisfy anyone some will wonder why I go into certain matters at all, others will
wish I had gone into juicier detail.
Once I envisioned publishing the autobiography, I trimmed out a lot of the personal
details in the original draft, either because they might embarrass those involved or
because they would be of little interest to most readers. With a few exceptions I have not
referred to people by name unless they have already committed themselves to some sort of
public activity.
The whole thing is admittedly very self-indulgent. Although Ive mentioned a few
painful episodes that were too crucial to omit, for the most part Ive made it easy
on myself and dealt only with things I enjoyed recalling and felt might be of interest to
my friends and perhaps a few other people. If some readers consider me an egomaniac for
presuming to write about my relatively unspectacular life, I hope that others will be
encouraged to reexamine their own experiences.

* * *
I round and finish little, if anything;
and could not, consistently with my scheme.
The reader will always have his or her part to do,
just as much as I have had mine. I seek less to state
or display any theme or thought, and more to bring
you, reader, into the atmosphere of the theme or
thought there to pursue your own flight.
(Whitman, A Backward Glance Oer Traveld Roads)
[NOTES]
1. To put it briefly, in both his Village Voice article and
his subsequent book, Lipstick Traces, Marcus relates to the situationists aesthetically,
as a fascinated spectator. For all his awe of their extremist ideas, he shows
little interest in the carefully calculated tactics and organizational forms through which
they tried to implement those ideas instead of merely impulsively
expressing them like his other heroes, the dadaists and the punks. His
personal, impressionistic approach is more illuminating than the fatuous accounts of most
academic and cultural critics, but he shares the latters main blind spot: preferring
the situationists early, more intriguingly exotic phase, while seeing their later
revolutionary perspective as an embarrassing anachronism. Such critics invariably assure
us that, whatever revolutions may have happened in the past, its all over now and
will never happen again. After ridiculing the SIs advocacy of workers councils
(which was far less simplistic than he implies), Marcus blasély concludes: If the
situationist idea of general contestation was realized in May 1968, the idea also realized
its limits. The theory of the exemplary act . . . may have gone as far as such a
theory or such an act can go ignoring how close the May movement came to
going much farther (see the passages cited on pages 53 and 57 of the present book [in the
sections What could have happened in May 1968 and The ultimate
showdown of The Joy of Revolution, chapter 3]) and never
mentioning subsequent movements such as Portugal 1974 or Poland 1980 (which in some
respects did go farther) or any of the individual currents attempting to actually use and
develop the situationists achievements. I myself am oddly pigeonholed as a
student of the SI, as if there was nothing left for any of us latecomers but
to produce learned dissertations or wistful elegies on the heroic ventures of bygone
times.
2. Before going on, I should stress that my Zen practice has nothing
to do with any supernatural beliefs. To my understanding, Zen does not invalidate science
or reason, it simply tries to break the habit of excessive, compulsive intellectualizing.
Without some logical discrimination people could not survive for a day or
even understand what Im saying well enough to disagree with it.
Though science is often accused of arrogance, it is
virtually the only field of human endeavor that takes into account its own fallibility,
that consistently tests itself and corrects its own errors through rigorously objective
methods designed to counteract peoples natural tendencies toward fallacious
reasoning, unconscious biases and selective memory (remembering the hits and forgetting
all the misses). To really test the claims of astrology, for example, requires checking a
statistically large sampling of people to see if, say, a disproportionate number of
scientists are born under signs supposed to indicate rationalistic tendencies. Such tests
have been carried out many times and in no case has there turned out to be any such
correlation. Similar investigations of many other supposed paranormal phenomena have been
described in books by James Randi, Martin Gardner and others and in numerous articles in
the Skeptical Inquirer (journal of the Committee for the Scientific Investigation
of Claims of the Paranormal). Over and over such claims have been shown to be based on
rumors that turn out to be false, misinterpretations of otherwise explainable events,
insufficiently rigorous conditions of experimentation, or hoaxes and charlatanism.
There may turn out to be kernels of truth in a few of
these areas, but considering how susceptible people are to fooling themselves (and to
clinging to their beliefs rather than admitting that theyve been made fools of) I
intend to reserve judgment until I see some good evidence. For years Randi and others have
made a standing offer of $100,000 to anyone who can demonstrate any paranormal power
whatsoever under scientifically controlled conditions (including observation by
professional magicians like Randi, who are capable of recognizing the sorts of tricks
often used by charlatans). Hundreds of self-proclaimed psychics, dowsers, astrologers,
etc., have tried to do so. So far not a single one has succeeded.
3. Not to be confused with D.T. Suzuki, whose numerous works deal
with the more dramatically goal-oriented Rinzai school of Zen. Shunryu Suzuki
left only one modest little book, Zen Mind, Beginners Mind, but its a
gem. There is now a Shunryu Suzuki website created by
David Chadwick, author of the excellent Suzuki biography, Crooked Cucumber, and
of the delightful and often hilarious account of his own experiences, Thank You and
OK!: An American Zen Failure in Japan. [Note added 1999.]
End of Confessions of a Mild-Mannered Enemy of the State, from Public
Secrets: Collected Skirmishes of Ken Knabb (1997).
No copyright.
[Part 1] [Part 2]
[French
translation of this text]
[Italian
translation of this text]
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